in ,

When Self-Help Takes a Dark Turn: Meet Dan Peña

dan pena
Photo (modified): Eligio Jose Manalo via Wikimedia Commons

Dan Peña will teach you how to become rich, and while he’s at it, he’ll remind you that you’re a useless piece of shit.

The 78-year-old Mexican American started as a financial analyst on Wall Street, moved on to become the president of an oil company, and then, bought a castle in Scotland where he operates several businesses. He’s also trying to become a politician.

The self-proclaimed “Trillion Dollar Man” is known for his wealth-building seminars which he gives while abusing the hell out of the people who paid hefty sums to see him in person (according to his own website, some of his talks have been priced at $15,000).

When he’s not insulting people directly, he says things that are just utterly insane.

Here are some of our favorite things Dan Peña has said to his audience: ⁣

    • I’ll give you this vagina cream so you can rub it on your snatch, because you’re all c*nts!”⁣
    • “I don’t give a f*ck if your mother died in your arms! Where’s the f*cking weekly report you c*nt?!” ⁣
    • “A stiff drink and a good f*ck would kill most people in this room!”⁣
    • “Do you realize the Russians think we’re all f*ggots?!”⁣
    • “Is that somebody’s phone? Turn it off before I shove it up your ass!”⁣
    • “Most of you should have never been born! You should have rolled down the inside of your fat mama’s leg!”⁣
    • “We ought to just line up your parents against this cement wall and cut ‘em down like the dogs that they are!”⁣
    • “I dealt in the Middle East, I know the Middle East, and I know what they’re good for. Not much!”

Here’s a well-done compilation of the big-mouthed lunatic in action:

If you’re curious what this guy’s like when not on stage, here he is talking to Joe Rogan:

And here he is on Logan Paul’s podcast:

Finally, here he is with Jesse Lee Peterson on his show, “The Fallen State” (if you want to watch two ridiculous people talking).

Written by Pete

Bert Kreischer not funny

Bert Kreischer Isn’t Funny

crooked lombard street

The World’s Most Crooked Street